Too often people including myself let our fears and ego get in the way of being authentic. We try to be what is masculine, or feminine, what society tells us we should be, or even what we think our family/ spouse/ or public wants us to be. Instead of just living from our heart center.
So many times I let my fear get the best of me. I hid my authentic self behind shyness or acting a certain way because I thought that is how someone else wanted me to be. I was in relationships were I hid all my feelings or spoke up without thinking of how I might hurt someone else. Those actions were created out of fear and not love and compassion.
Seeing another persons raw emotions can scare us because in that moment we see a reflection of ourselves. We run from the emotions we perceive as "Bad." We make light of a situation were someone is exposing their raw emotions and even can ignore our own emotions.
A couple of months ago I was going through a situation were I felt like my heart had been shattered. I would normally run from these emotions. This time I focused on my heart center. Instead of grabbing onto something outside myself to ignore my feelings I sat in meditation and did a heart kriya almost daily for a month. I meditated on my heart chakra. I pictured my heart opening up. I dug deep to my authentic self.
Since that time I am more open to being my authentic self. I have stopped relying so much on the external. I have lost excess weight my body was holding on to. I am at a point of no turning back. Even if I wanted to I don't think I could. Change is scary but it is also necessary to live an authentic life.