Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Back on the Blogging Bandwagon

I started blogging on Xanga when I was around 18 years old. I met a lot of inspiring people in my blogging journey over the years. Some of the people I am still very fortunate to have contact with. I then moved on to blogger and created another personal blog. I started that blog in 2009. It amazes me how much I went through and when I look back on my life and see the girl I was then compared to the woman I am now. Writing for me is like breathing it is my air. About three years ago I stopped writing. Every time I sat down to write the thoughts in my head could not be turned into words. I was very lost at that point in my life. Writing which is usually my solace just became another thing to do. I also was trying to write a book at that time and once again the words where just not flowing. I needed a break badly. Not just from writing but from a lot of things I loved doing. In a way that time gave me perspective but it also made me realize when you have a passion and when something makes your heart sing you can't just abandon it. These last three years I've learned a lot about giving and receiving. You have to give to yourself as much as you give to other people. It is not selfish in fact it is the opposite of selfish. I was looking back at my old blog and I thought how far I've come. And yet even with all the bad that happened with the good times I still would not change a thing. Because ultimately everything I went through brought me to this place in my life. The road is not always easy and it never will be. That is unrealistic. Especially for a girl dealing with depression and anxiety. I will probably never live a "normal" life. But, these last few years I have slowly started getting back to the things I love. Some days I don't want to do anything and some days all I can do it just get through the day. This is okay since I am only human after all. As I flipped through my old blog posts I thought I am not where I need to be but I'm glad I am not where I used to be. I've learned that everything happens for a reason. I know some might not hold this view but over time when I look back on my life even the bad things that happened something good came from it. It brought me to this point. I am not going to say there are not days or moments where I feel this way. I also thought about with Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram where our lives can be shared so publicly with others through pictures and characters why would I need to blog. But, in reading my old blog I realized that there are some things that need more then pictures. There are somethings that need more then 140 characters. I remember reading others blogs and feeling sad, happy, and inspired. There is one blogger in particular who inspires me on a daily basis. Her life has not been easy but she keeps keepin' on and living the life she loves. I was inspired to create a new blog. Yes it can be a bit daunting starting over from scratch but sometimes you also need a fresh start. You need to reinvent yourself or maybe just reinvent yourself to who you really are beyond the things that have happened to you. I am excited for this next chapter in my life and there will be much more to come.
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