Monday, April 21, 2014

The First Time I fell in love




The first time I fell in love I was 15 years old. I had met this boy at school. We were both taking classes at this special school. I was always horrible at math. So, I decided to go to this school. I met a boy I will call him D. I was 15 and he was 18. We were not dating we were just friends. I was immediately intrigued by him. He had these dark brown eyes. He was wearing this spiked hat. He was a rebel. He was a bad boy. He was basically a teenage girls dream. I couldn't believe that he actually liked me. He was punk Rock and Gothic. At that time he didn't have any tattoos but he did have piercings. The chemistry was flying across the room. It was obvious there was something there. Everyone knew it too. Finally I got the courage to give him my phone number. I was shocked when he actually called me that day. After that we still saw each other at school until he graduated. Then we went on a few dates but remained friends for two years. Finally when I was 17 he asked me to be his girl. I was the happiest girl in the world. I hoped he felt the same about me but I honestly wasn't sure. When it turned out he did like me in the same way I was ecstatic. When we first got together I feel madly deeply in love with him. I had crushes before but nothing like this. I had a boyfriend before him briefly who I really liked but the attraction just wasn't there. It's hard to imagine a 17 year old being so deeply in love. Over time my love grew deeper and deeper for him. We where together for 9 years. We were even engaged for a time. He asked me to marry him on my front porch in the summertime. There was a breeze in the air and it smelled like a hot summer night. I love that smell. There were people walking around town because it was so nice out. Not to warm but not too cold. Perfect summer weather. We where eating pizza. He got down on one knee (no ring, But, that didn't matter) and asked me to marry him. My head was spinning I was shocked and excited all at the same time. I was 18 at the time. Needless to say when I told my mom she was not happy about the situation. Of course I did understand where she was coming from. We both didn't have very much money and no where to live. We were young and in love and not thinking about the future just living in the moment. I have to say I've grown up a lot since then and now realize we where being unrealistic but at the time I was upset. I felt like she was tearing down my dream of marrying the man I loved. Over time though we where no longer living in the moment as carefree teens and young adults. We had jobs and bills. We had responsibilities. We practically lived separate lives. He also had other issues which we where trying to work on. The older we got the more we grew apart. I realize now it was naive to think I would spend my life with the guy I started dating when I was 17. Although it does happen. We tried to get married again a few years later. This time other reason's came up that once again prevented it. Although I do believe and know in my heart that everything happens for a reason. When something ends and one door closes another one opens.


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1 comment:

  1. I didn't fall in love til I was 18 and I fell HARD because I never knew it before, I was so busy hanging out with friends and working at 15 I had bfs but nothing serious I can't even imagine how you felt and then your mom not approving....Everything happens for a reason and while I don't regret my first love I am glad I moved on and found my now husband :)

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