Thursday, October 26, 2017

Turning Should Into Must

If you Believe that you have something special inside of you, And you feel it's about time you gave it a shot, honor that calling in some small way- Today. If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between you and your dreams and your daily reality, do one thing to tighten your grip on what you want- Today. If you've been peering down the road to must but can't quite make the choice, dig a little deeper and find out what's stopping you-Today. Because there is a recurring choice in life, and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again. 
-The Crossroads of Should and Must

I kept feeling a niggling inside of me. A nudging to do something. A bigger calling and soul purpose. But, for a long time I've struggled with what my calling is, my soul purpose, my MUST.

I realized for such a long time I've been living a should life. The things I felt like I should be doing. At times this got in the way of my must. A must is more than a passion. You can have many passions and passions fade over time. A must is what stirs your soul. It calls you back to it again and again. You don't feel complete if you are not doing your must. A must is something you would do and probably do even do for free. But, getting paid for it is the dream.

For me that has always been writing. I got away from it for awhile. But, as musts do they usually come back around. And start screaming at you to get your attention. I also have gotten back to dance. When I was a teenager I loved to dance. It was always a little too strict for me at times. I prefer free movement. That is always when I felt the most free. Dancing in my living room and putting on plays instead of dancing in a class. When I was really struggling I heard about Qoya and Kundalini dance from a telesummit I was watching online. (Anyone else addicted to those?) But, I'm always finding so many gems from them.

Slowly my musts, my soul calling, my purposes are coming back around. It's funny that most of these things I enjoyed as a little girl. I think our soul always knows what our calling and true purpose is even if as we get older we try to live by should's. If our family wants us to be a doctor but we want to be an actor then slowly but surely our dreams get tucked in a corner and we forget about them. Until it seems like we have no choice but to resurrect them.

Let Yourself Be Silently Drawn by the Strange Pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.- Rumi 

The other day I spent a couple hours coloring in a coloring book. I forgot how fun and peaceful that can be. How therapeutic it can be to let my inner child come out and play. It was inspired by reading Madly in Love with Me by Christine Arylo. Why is self-love such a dirty term? I hate the saying that you have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. I don't think that's true. I think having the right partner who loves you for who you are can actually be very healing. But, it's also true that we need to be our own best friend first and foremost. I believe a partner should be a best friend but we also need to give to ourselves as well. Self-care is not selfish as long as we have balance. A relationship get's out of alignment when we neglect ourselves in the process. There is nothing wrong with being our own best friend. I think it's a necessity to care for ourselves. It's a necessity to go after our dreams and follow our MUST.

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Monday, October 23, 2017

Wake up Calls and Sacred Self-Care

Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe, I was strong, I was Brave. Nothing Could Vanquish me. Fear begets fear. Power begets power. I Willed myself to beget power. And it wasn’t long before I actually wasn’t Afraid.” - Cheryl Strayed “Wild”

“We Will Face our fear and invoke the love that replaces it.” - Marianne Williamson

These past few months I had some wake up calls about my life and where I was going. Change seemed to be on the wind. So, I've been learning to embrace it. This messy beautiful thing called life.

My mom has been having health issues and these past few months it was weighing heavily on my mind. I am glad to say as of right now things are looking good. So, I am going to keep praying that it stays that way.

Then my beautiful boy Ollie got sick. He was diagnosed with FLUTD (Feline lower urinary track disease) and also had crystals in his bladder. But, we went to the doctor last week and another miracle happened. He got a clean bill of health and is doing much better. He will just have to be monitored to make sure they don't come back and has to be on a special prescription diet.

I've been dealing with my own health issues and it was a huge wake up call for me. Mostly related to stress. It definitely got me back on my self-care journey. 

I got burnt out with everything going on in my life. So, I took a step back. I admit I felt guilty for doing this. But, I also know that sometimes it is necessary. Self-care is so important. If we never let ourselves disconnect then it just leads to a whole heck lot of burnout and resentment. 

I needed to find my balance again. Heck I needed to find fun again. I needed to find my feminine spiritual side. But, like one of my spiritual boss ladies said on her social media page "When you are feeling disconnected you don't even want to connect back to source."  Okay, I'm paraphrasing. But, this is how I felt. 

When you get so down it can be hard to reconnect with source. But, that's when I need it even more. That's when my soul craves some solitude and connection. Connection with source, connection with my inner feminine Goddess, and connection with my sisters. Other amazing women who walk this planet. 

I found Qoya and have been doing that. Freestyle dance is absolutely amazing for getting back into your body. I am listening to my heart more. 

Hearts Break So They Can Open from Rochelle Schieck on Vimeo.

This Dance segment has really helped me connect with my body and heart.

I lost someone very close to me. Not to a death but to an ending of a friendship and relationship. Which can feel like a death at times when you can no longer talk to your best friend. It felt like the rug has been ripped out from underneath me. Like one of my friends said This is a time for me to rise from the ashes like a phoenix. I can take my broken heart and all this change and turn it into something beautiful.

Make space in your life for the inevitable arrival of what you want. @DanielleLaporte #Truthbomb

You've got a new story to write. And it looks nothing like your past. #Truthbomb +Danielle LaPorte 

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