Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Holding Out For the Miracle

If you've read my blog before then you know I believe in miracles. I talk about faith, spirituality, and miracles a lot. A few years ago I was not a believer in miracles. I almost lost my faith a few times. At one point I didn't even believe in God/Goddess. I found my faith in amazing ways and reclaimed myself.

I found the goddess in myself, Honored mama earth, honored my menstrual cycle and the moon cycles, I found Kundalini yoga which it what really restored my faith in God. When I sing my mantras I am literally chanting/singing to God. Those are the times when I feel closest to God and when I truly believe in Miracles. One of my favorite mantras is Ardas Bhaee  Which is the prayer of answered prayers. Whenever I chant this I feel like God is so close and not a distant separate entity. Or an old man in the sky looking down. It fills my soul with hope. 

Some of my favorite versions are on

Of Heaven & Earth 


Kundalini Morning Chants

 I saw a quote that I posted on Facebook from Danielle Laporte about holding out. Holding out for the job, holding out for the relationship, and Going without. To not compromise. To hold the space that we are in right now. 

This is a totally new concept for me. It reminded me of how over the years I've leaped into things without thinking if it was something I really wanted to do the rest of my life. Instead of planning I jumped right in and then realized it was not something that was really right for me. But, instead of holding out I got desperate. Instead of making space I filled my time with mindless tasks. Only to later realize that I was completely burned out and spending time on something I didn't even really enjoy. Now my goal is to spend time doing things that make me happy and make space for where I currently am not where I want to be. To appreciate the journey not the destination. To spend time with Goddess/God. I admit I love things that others might consider woo woo. I believe in miracles and sacred self care. I believe in loving myself and that is not selfish but in this day and age a necessity.  I just know what works for me and to have the courage to ditch something if it's not in alignment with my soul. Or to say no if something doesn't feel right. I used to ignore my intuition but now I listen to it because more often then not it's been right. To move on from things when they no longer serve me and spend more time on the things that do serve me. That doesn't mean to not have a plan. I love plans. But, now I surrender them to the divine. 

To spend as much time as I can in the feminine while maintaining balance with the masculine way the world works. And don't get me wrong some work I completely thrive on and can spend hours doing. I love when I am working towards something. But, to devote my time to the work I thrive on and less time on work that just burns me out. Of course, this can be easier said then done but I know eventually I will be doing what I love full time. Until then I'll hold out for the miracle. Because yes it is coming.  I've already experienced tons of miracles in my daily life. Your miracle is coming too.

I know how hard it can be to hold out for the relationship, the job, the career, the baby, the husband, or whatever it is that you feel is so far away. I've been broken, lonely, depressed, broke, and lost.  Some of these things I can still see in my future and I'm holding out for them too. I know how easy our patience can get tangled up in our dreams. We want to rush the process but yet it can't be rushed. We are afraid of never getting married or having kids. Or staying in a job that feels soul sucking. Or we haven't taken two minutes to ourselves in a year and now we are burned out and feel like we are missing something but have no idea what it is. I've been there. I am still there in some ways although I've come a long way from where I was a year ago or even six months ago. In August I had a stint here. Losing my patience and sinking deep into depression. It was the worst it's been in awhile. The only thing that really pulled me out of it was realizing I had to make a change and find the things that aligned with my soul. It took some tweaking but I did it. I'm still tweaking things. My schedule, my eating, my lifestyle. It all syncs together. 

 In the new year I am starting cycle syncing which I am super excited about. I talked about it in my blog post The Power of being a woman. I also have so many fun ideas for the blog including starting a newsletter. And getting back to social media. You can read about my break from social media in my The Social Media Detox. And starting a Vlog which has been on my to do list for a couple of years now. But, this year feels like the year for me to start one and share my experiences on video with you all besides just writing. And giving my group The Fearless Goddess Tribe a reboot. I would love for you to join me in my online sister circle. 

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